John Gray may be associate pastor at the largest church in America, but hes not your daddys preacher. So they did the best they could, and they became like men in order to get that respect. He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. My friend is engaged to this woman and theyre having some difficulties. In his newest book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice, author John Gray explains how our hormones, stress levels, and recent social and gender customs have collided to create the conflicts and health ills we see in present-day western relationships and marriages. Learning to deal with our emotions and stress is the key to heart health. I think thats a great human trait, dont you? They have been happily married for over 30 years and have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. When the sexual attraction is gone it is really hard to stay in a relationship today. PR.com: What creates that disinterest as time goes on? I think his historical grounding for those roles is preposterous. PR.com: Even when your kids were really little? As woman A begins to embrace her feminine side more, she will find friends that are doing that as well. So we want to regulate stress levels- challenge is how we RESPOND to the stress in our life. Here is the resolution of the computer argument above. Required fields are marked *. Author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and his latest, Beyond Mars and Venus, Dr. John Gray, returns to share what has changed for him since his first interview on Wellness Force, how we can hold space in relationships, the four kinds of love, and how porn is hurting relationships. I MUCH prefer the earlier title of this book: His point in this book is that we dont know what we need to know because our parents didnt tell us and they didnt tell us because we are living a life that would have mystified them entirely. These differences are reflected in our biology: our hormones and brain chemistry. Pretty smart of us, I think. John Gray lives in Northern California where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. It was men hanging out. John tells her he was going to buy a new computer. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Our Complex Modern World. He is asking them to be less aware of their feelings and more aware of their wifes feelings. I mean, its great that women know theyre from Venus, but a vast majority of less enlightened men will never know theyre from Mars. I dont know. Every man who has a heart attack has low testosterone. When I want something, it doesnt seem so important. John: You seem upset. Poor me is addictive, and releases the wrong hormones. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Whenever you want something, you just go out and get it. Gray is not asking men to be more aware of their feelings. Its a very important exception. Its kind of like in the old days when men had their smoking or drinking clubs. Feel it and know that it is not you. Im here to help men and women create strong, passionate bonds that last a lifetime. If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to (LogOut/ (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images) PURCHASE A LICENSE. Its hard for her to open up and be vulnerable. Just today my wife was having a strong reaction about [something], and because I know Mars/Venus I wont say much (laughs). Asa bystander, I ask the kinds of questions I am going to look at in the next post in this series. (LogOut/ Woman need balance in their estrogen and progesterone, stress increases testosterone. dr john gray wife, bonnie dr john gray wife, bonnie. I think its a very very young Bonnie Gray. John Gray: Back in the early eighties is when I first started developing the ideas of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. It cant be all that much fun to be Bonnie Gray, the wife of John Gray, the founding genius of the Mars/Venus industry. PR.com: In this book you state that each of us is responsible for 90% of our own happiness, and only 10% should come from a significant other. Know what theyre thinking & what to do about it. Why it's so important for women to give men space so that they can build their testosterone levels back up. Ditch the uncertainty & get the love you deserve! Then, she comes home to her partner who is safer than the rest of the world and those negative emotions all come up and overreact on him. Within a few years men were buying as many [copies] as women, once word caught on that this book is very supportive of men as well as women. We want to be the whip cream. Now, having more equality in relationships is a beautiful thing, but the problem is, people have equated equality with sameness. Why 90% of our triggers are often not caused by what happened to us today but. Just a note here to clarify my position on the Mars & Venus books. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. Most guys would take charge and say, This is what we need to do. But there has to be some time for her to vent. Suddenly those feelings come back. Dr. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance. John Gray: Both things are going on simultaneously. John Gray: A lot of these ideas I put forth are very counter-therapy. I would be thinking, Is she going to call, or is she not going to call?. Heart disease in woman is due to high stress levels. And is it really irrational to do first the only thing you can do firstthis is from Bonnie Grays point of viewand so, clear the way to do what can, after all, be done second? USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. The only real answeror maybe its just the best oneis to find someone you naturally relate to. PR.com: You talk in the book about the physiology of stress reduction for women, specifically. Estrogen suppresses testosterone. You wont feel an attraction to him if youre a woman, if a guy is too much like a girl. Heart. You go away; Im taking care of everything. John: Well, for lots of reasons. If your stress level increases it can create a tear leading to heart attack. When something seems amiss, and someone is acting irrationally, you should immediately try to get to the source of the problem, rather than reacting to the symptoms. I feel like you get what you want and I get seconds. (She persisted, not answering my question.). Organize, control, distribute and measure all of your digital content. still has, 25 years after it was published! Soul mate relationships are where both partners understand and respect their differences so they can expand empathy and deeply support each other throughout life. I got the news, on my honeymoon, that my father had died. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. Always get your needs met, without feelingneedy. John Grays seventeenth book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice is currently in bookstores nationwide, including Barnes & Noble, and available at Amazon.com book and PBS Special DVD combo. In some cases, that denial of femininity shows up as liking to hang out with guys. Most people dont understand. How to Get Everything You Want in Relationships and start learning these new relationship and communication tools today! That was the easy response. Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. Im going to a mens group meeting tonight. wussy. Then please SUBSCRIBE, RATE AND SHARE with your loved ones!! John lives in Northern California with When the kids were little I told Bonnie, Every Monday, thats your day off. Now lets look at what Bonnie Grays responsibilities are. We dont want to do it all. Whats the number one characteristic that couples experience when they are in love? He was also the subject of a three hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. It gives John a chance to remember that hes supposed to be listening to her feelings, not solving her problems. For your testosterone level to stay that high, you have to feel confident that you are loved. Not someone who is going to take me from zero to one hundred. Learn to minimize and speak emotions. I always believed it was just our preferences. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. Organisieren, kontrollieren, verteilen und messen Sie alle Ihre digitalen Inhalte. You did it again! I helped him see her point of view, and I helped him see how he created the mess. All rights reserved. These arerole materelationships where people play out their roles in order to create harmony. (LogOut/ Not very much time, as I recall. Gray married his second wife, Bonnie, in 1986; she died of cancer in 2018. Then, that gives rise to misunderstanding. She then allows me to take her from happy to happier; from feeling good to feeling great. Gray married self-help author Barbara De Angelis and they divorced in 1984, after which he re-evaluated his ideas about relationships. I just have a lot of feelings coming up. Women need to share their frustrations or disappointments to increase their estrogen. Social and economic shifts have caused the sexes to no longer be dependent on each other. I ask questions like, Is it really fair that I have to put up with this kind of abuse over and over? I ask, Is this really the best she can do? I ask, Is it always going to be like this.. Its a nasty job, but somebodys got to do it. Anything else, he will defend himself. WebBus Schedule. I wasnt aware of oxytocin. PR.com (Allison Kugel): Your new book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice, describes 100% the issues that I was having in my own relationship, and it has helped us quite a bit. dr john gray wife, bonnie dr john gray wife, bonnie. You are going to buy what you want and thats it. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images). Organize, control, distribute and measure all of your digital content. Dr. Gray, 58, lives in Northern California with his wife of 23 years, Bonnie, They have three grown daughters and three grand Now lets look at what Bonnie Grays responsibilities are. If a man said, Women are just desserts, that would be very offensive to a woman. We just need to know what their needs are, and to realize how we have sabotaged the situation. The incredible impact a man can feel when they're out of work or they don't feel appreciated or. In the nineties when the book was very popular, that is when most of the universities began having gender studies departments. So whatever Bonnie Gray is actually like, in the books, she needs to seem petulant and unreasonable. But there is another guy who hangs out with girls because they listen to him talk about his feelings, and hell say guys dont relate to it or like it at all. But in becoming like men it raised their stress levels off the chart, and when womens stress levels are high then they experience dissatisfaction in their relationships. Mit unserem einfachen Abonnement erhalten Sie Zugriff auf die besten Inhalte von Getty Images. John Gray: I dont see it as a problem at all when women relate to men more than women. What if the source of the problem is not treatable? So what I did was to spend some time apologizing for being late. I just dealt with a whole bunch of couples like that this weekend. The Getty Images design is a trademark of Getty Images. John ducks and dodges while she unloads her feelings, then initiates reconciliation when the time is right. [1] I MUCH prefer the earlier title of this book: What Your Mother Couldnt Tell You and Your Father Didnt Know. When I want something, it doesnt seem so important. . It was ugly and I am glad I dont do it anymore. You just go away for a day and do things that you love to do, and if you want you can give me a call, and Ill get a babysitter and come visit you at a hotel room., John Gray: It was a very sweet time of our lives and I remember it very clearly. These are. For women- When you feel successful in getting the love and support they need. Many die of heart attack with no plaque and 50% who die of a heart attack have normal cholesterol. Then speed that up with computers, Internet and cell phones; our lifestyle is so much faster and busier than before. Wussy, eh? He is a recipient of the coveted the Smart Marriages Impact Award. Dr. Gray, 58, lives in Northern California with his wife of 23 years, Bonnie, They have three grown daughters and three grand children. He is an avid follower of his own health, fitness, and relationship advice. Das Getty Images Design ist eine eingetragene Marke von Getty Images. If you have good human skills, youll do well in most relationships. Then she was all interested in how close I came to getting hit and how understandable it was that I was late and how wonderful it was that I got home safely. I have actually done that. For the past 25 years, John has worked in manufacturing and facility maintenance, and he is now a facilities manager overseeing over 2.8 million square feet. We always do what you want to do and you always get your way. Add Reena@HealCircle.org to address book to get gifts. Thats why Ive written this book and put a big emphasis on the sex part of it. If Bonnie does what she is supposed to do, it will make it much easier for John to respond to her. Premium Organic Moringa Oleifera Leaf Powder, Organic India Tulsi Caffeine Free Tea, Sweet Rose, 18 Count, The Ketogenic and Modified Atkins Diets: Treatments for Epilepsy and Other Disorders, Pure Encapsulations - Magnesium (Citrate) 180 Capsules, Dr. Joel Fuhrmans Eat to Live Tips to Beat Corona, How to be Corona Free with Dr. Todd Ovokaitys. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. John Gray: No. What to do and not to do when a female partner is upset. I really appreciate you trying to listen. PR.com: Many people will be surprised by this information. For men Heart opens when you feel successful in helping others. Its starting to sound like youre saying Im this selfish person. (If youre looking to strengthen your current relationship or finally attract the love of your life, youre in the right place.). Thats what a man can do, but a woman needs to have some nurturing support which allows her brain to relax. But estrogen doesnt lower stress for women. The genie in a bottle method: A couple takes 10 minutes to allow the feminine partner to share little things the other can do for them like get a cup of tea or help answer phone calls. Women before menopause require 10 times more estrogen than men. WebHe has served on the Faculty of the Masters College & Seminary. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. Do you remember which one worked? Yet, if they meet someone new and different it is easy to get it back temporarily, because new and different is a lot of challenge which stimulates dopamine, which in turn stimulates testosterone. It brings up those issues. John Gray: In my personal life, I had been married to Bonnie (Grays wife of twenty-five years) for seven years, we had a family and we lived very happily together. What is the core of women? Their passion is just gone. WebDr. The key is not to ignore the feelings, but share them with people who are not the target of feelings. So whatever Bonnie Gray is actually like, in the books, she needs to seem petulant and unreasonable. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. I just need to talk for a while and feel that you care. In saying that, Bonnie not only prepares John for the ducking and dodging he is going to have to do, but also apologizes in advance for whatever she may say that is offensive or mean-spirited. The next four exchanges are presented as a block. Hello, feeling heard! That is all a good thing in terms of equal opportunity. (She persisted, not answering my question.). I take my cave time and she takes time to talk about things. It cant be all that much fun to be Bonnie Gray, the wife of John Gray, the founding genius of the Mars/Venus industry. She did it in a condescending way, but the irony is, as a man, I was complimented by it. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. I think his characterizations of male and female roles are stereotyped and rigid. PR.com: What are your thoughts on traditional couples counseling, considering that it doesnt seem to touch on their being a physiological reason why men have certain behavioral tendencies, and women have other behavioral tendencies? Im afraid I will not get what I want. Our community includes doctors, healers and integrative practitioners dedicated to helping you heal naturally. WebJohn lives in Northern California with his wife, Bonnie. Bonnie: "There Is Life After Breast Cancer" | Book of John We always do what you want to do and you always get your way. A collaboration between Wellness Force and Essential Oil Wizardry to provide inspiration for you click here. I dont know why you have to get another computer. Maybe I am mad that you want so much more than me. She engages her husband as a helper and a hearer and promises her gratitude for his work when she is done. PR.com: How can a couple break the cycle where anger and resentment builds up, so their sex life dies, and the lack of sex creates further tension and drives them further apart? John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. John Gray was taken to hospital after suffering a Saddle pulmonary embolism - a blockage of the pulmonary arteries in the lungs. CLICK HERE FOR DISCOUNT PURCHASE, When you get angry, what is happening hormonally in your body? Bonnie is Johns wife and in his books, she needs to act in ways that Here is a little clip from Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love. PR.com: And its such an iconic brand now. A Feminist wrote a book called, Men Are Just Desserts. Its starting to sound like youre saying Im this selfish person. He would protect them and he would help fix things when they break, and he was kind of the emergency man (a term Gray refers to in his book). Very little more was expected of him. PR.com: This may be an offensive question for some people, but do you think that the womens movement over the past few decades has actually hindered male/female relationships and caused the divorce rate to rise? And I didnt know that much of my behavior over the past year has been a desperate attempt to rebuild oxytocin. Hier knnen Sie Inhalte sammeln, auswhlen und Anmerkungen zu Ihren Dateien hinterlegen. 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