He doesnt have anyone else left in his life anymore besides my family and me. Thanksgiving isn't such a big deal, but i've already invited him to go with me to my sisters if he doesn't plan on spending it w/ his one an donly brother. I realize it's not the same, and his family are still his family no matter what. . I'm in a similar situation, but not really sure how to approach it. Privacy Policy. Romantic relationships are ours alone to maintain. MDIwYThjODdkYmRkODkxNjdmMjNjMWJiNzg2YzczOWNhNDNkMTAzMDkyNWE1 They've not made life easy for my mum but at the same time she's done things which has had me yell at her. (I had to wait for a way down the road. I would be thinking that maybe she has invited someone else to share the special occasions with him but then Im a suspicious kind of person. I kept asking now she hates me. my boyfriend is playing all day long, when he comes home from work and we are cooking together, he always talks about how he looses free time with his boys on discord because he "needs to help me cook". Compromise somewhere!!!! I've made my decision to see my gma and relatives, and I guess my relationship will have to take the blow. What could I have done differently? YTZlY2NmZDdlNDlhMTY4NTY3ZDMyM2MyYzE4Y2NmYTRmMSIsInNpZ25hdHVy ZSI6IjRjYzg2N2NhOTg4YzU1M2IwOGYwMTYwNTc3ZTUxNjE5MmQ2ZWMyODIx Weve been dating for six years, and thats how long weve known each other. He is perfect for you Except, hes not. My brother never spent Christmas with his girlfriend, always came home to be with our family. If he loves you enough he would include you and take you with him. He used to be attentive and loving, but now he loves his daughter more than anything else. So much so that I've never even met her, nor am I allowed on her property (which is actually no issue for me I'm OK with staying far away from her, believe it or not). What do I do? They claim to be their knight in the shining armor. When youre prepared to open up to him about it, tell him youre not trying to cause problems but that you want to talk about something very, very important to you. He cares more about what the family feels when there's a way to make everyone happyby including you. I came back home to spend my Summer holidays with my parents. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. NmM5ZjBhNTI5NjdiZTRjOWRmNzRmMDVhNzk3YzYzNGE1ZmZhMjEzZjdlMTBl When you become an adult it's time to detach from your family and create one of your own. YTg0NzE5NmZmZWUyNzMyNmM3OGI3OGQ0NmU5OGZhYjVhYzkwYjlmY2Y5OGE0 relationship because of this. Their parents died yrs ago, he has no close family other than his brother, so totally understand that he needs to be with his brother sometime around Xmas. Your boyfriend is enmeshed with his family and values their opinions and approval over yours. Thanksgiving is next week. ZjI3MmZiZDYyYmM3NDg0ODMxNWYwZTgyM2QzNzhhYWRmMTc1OTg0OGY4ODky So start the conversation respectfully (not meekly). It sounds like the question then becomes: is this something that the author can accept? At the end of the day he will choose his children over you if you kick off or refuse to speak to them. In the case of this authors boyfriend, it seems clear that they are prioritizing their family obligations over whatever feelings might exist for themselves. NDBmYjZmMTcwYmJhODliYTkwYzk4YzU5NTMzMTA5OWY0M2IwM2NiNjc0OTY2 She could be one of thosecrazy, overprotective mothers who can't keep her hands out of our affairs. Do fathers love their daughters more than their wives? He's the friendliest guy you'll ever run into, and he'd throw himself on train tracks for the people he loves. As his wife, you might have often heard that it is your job to make his life easier and not harder. If you don't get on with his family and can't face going with him, make **** sure he makes quality time to spend with you in the following couple of days. Why Does My Ex-boyfriend Still Want To Sleep With Me? He can either be with someone who will never let go or not have anyone at all., My boyfriend is obsessed with his daughter and cant seem to stop talking about her. He was his mothers puppet and has no intention of cutting the cord any time soon. Everyone makes mistakes, including me and you. You are learning this now. OTQ4N2U0NGQ0ZTQyMDJiNDgzMTRjYTYyNDUyNzQ3NDQxODU1MTFhZjk2MTY5 Sometimes it even feels like you did a poor job raising her. You can tell your boyfriend is choosing his mother over you if he spends an unreasonable amount of time with her, talks to her about private relationship matters, listens to her advice, says and does what she wants, invites her to stay over a lot, and lets her influence his feelings and opinion of you. The result is something ofestrangement from his mom. No parents will decide our kids names and decide where we live etc. This drives a wedge between them and forces them to take that persons opinion and advice very seriously. Just as I have my own religious values, I must accept hers for what they are. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Unfortunately an ultimatum is the only option in a position like this imo. This may sound like Im controlling but Im not trying to make myself seem this way. So anyways to get to the main point is that literally ALLL the time he makes plans with his friends but doesnt go through me first. I am the boyfriend in this scenario. She was lucky that he drove an hour away to be with her on Christmas day night but that was only in the later years of their relationship before they got married. An ultimatum should be the very last thing you give to solve a relationship crisis. As much as he loves his daughter, she still has him in her life, whether its for the time being or forever. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. here it is almost 1 am & he still out enjoying his day. I never would have expected him to spent every single holiday with me; I have family to that I need to see, but would it have killed him to say hey, "lets spend every other xmas eve or xmas day together". They tell her when they will be at her house if she is lucky. We've been together ever since. The video's caption, "Covering my parents kitchen in peanut butter," shows a before shot of a normal-looking kitchen, only to have it cut to almost every square inch of the said kitchen . eyJtZXNzYWdlIjoiZmJkNDZiMjEwMmU5NDg2ODY1NTU3MDIwOWU4YzI0NmQz Being Mexican, your BF is weak, plans with SO are important and he needs to follow through. Relationships are hard enough with just two people. Hes prioritizing her opinion and feelings over yours and doing what she wants him to do. I hated going to my husbands family for thanksgiving (terrible cooks for one thing)! She thinks I hate her because I am not spending it with her? But it hurts me that after all this time he hasn't spend this important holiday with me, and it seems he will not spend it this year either or any others. Now I get along with them all & they eat at my place & Ive been to the sons home. For example, dating is prohibited hence why there are so many arranged marriages in the faith. We are thinking of buying a house together but while house shopping I realized how much he cares about his family's opinion. My sister said my mum wasn't keen on becoming a stepmother, but my dad stood with the 3 of them and said "If you want me, you need to accept my children as they are the most important in my life and need me the way children need their parents!" Despite committing to you and telling you he loves you, the guy is showing you that youre not his number one person and that things will stay that way for as long as his mother is around. When people show you who they are, believe them. She's definitely missing out. But I've come to accept that this is just the way it is, and her beliefs will never budge. Step back and learn more. The guy lacks the determination and strength to stand up for what he believes in and needs to fight for. 1. We talked about it calmly and nicely, but feel just a little hurt, especially after her daughter invited me to go there for Xmas lunch. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. What are your feelings on the This as you know him much better than I do? You need to set boundries. However, the relationship, in itself, is not as easy. His mother was in charge of things and sadly still is. I know we were raised differently. I feel at times and most recently that he doesnt love me anymore but he just doesnt know how to break up with me because lately this has been happening a lot and Im tired of fighting, I really love him. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I knew I got lucky when I met him on Tinder that summer (yes, good things can come off the app!). Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Quite the contrary, she's sort of just let her son float away like a balloon on a cool, cloudless day. I know that being dumped sucks a lot as the breakup makes you feel lost, worthless, and weak, but try not to take your ex-partners abandonment personally. Wanda says: Nothing like being a third wheel behind a four-legged friend. Men, generally, promise to be there for their wives, to never leave them alone, to be their protector, and what not. Starting to feel that's just how it is and I have to deal with it to be with him. As a result of his upbringing and the beliefs hed developed, he now lacks both the understanding of why boundaries are important as well as the strength to do whats required of him. Thats why he lets his mother do what she wants and allows her to get inside his head and affect his relationship. She makes his breakfast and lunch everyday and sometimes dinner. I knew a Guy who had about five close friends and drinking buddies. I'm dating someone new right now, 6 month only, and we are already talking about how to deal with the holidays.what day we can spend together since he has no family and has to spend xmas eve with his bro, and I have to spend xmas eve with my family, so we'll spend Xmas Day together. Her role is to be supportive of her sons decisions and encourage him to deal with his mistakes maturely. Relationships are one of the prime factors in life. I believe it is OK, because he needs some time to catch up with his family. All bans in this subreddit are permanent. Why Does Your Husband Choose Family Over You In Your Relationship? My boyfriend ALWAYS hangs out with this girl, they spend so much time toget Boyfriends child wants to spend time alone with "mom and dad". Hanging Out With An Ex While In A Relationship. my boyfriend (25m) always chooses his family over me (23f). YjMyNjdmYjM0ZjM1M2FjZGY3ZTBhZDM0ODU2YzExMDQzYmNmOTMzMmIyMzE2 She's being selfish. First of all, you cant make your boyfriend do what he doesnt want to do. I am still struggling to understand why he chose his daughter over me. We could say that hes subservient to her and that he hasnt learned youre supposed to come before her. MGUxMDc0Nzc1NjI0YTlhZTM0NTVmYjBhZDFlYmYwNTVlNzE2YWVmMzc2MDYx i broke up with a boyfriend of 6 yrs for the same reason. He still tells me things will work out, but it seems hopeless because he never spends any time with me. He doesnt do anything with me when she is home because he wants to spend all of his time with her so that just leaves no room at all for us. We are pretty serious. I **** a girlfriend daily since 8 months. See additional information. Photo: getty. Think he's perfect for me, love everything about him. Uhh they already made plans for just the two of them?? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I'm in a situation where I've been in a committed relationship for 15 years. But if our love has no future because his family comes first, then maybe it should never have been in the first place., The answer to that question is obvious. You are his family too. You make everything more clear and easier to understand. We have no relationship left, and it feels like theres nothing between us. its the craziest shitbefore covid i didnt know they were like this. But I did it anyway. Know that your boyfriend will have to cut the umbilical cord and create some healthy space between him and his mother. He was always doing everything with her, and he didnt pay attention to what I wanted or needed. Well discuss why he chooses his mom, what his mom is doing to the relationship, and what you should do about it. My dad was a single dad to 3 children when he met my mum. He's always welcome to stay at our house whenever we're in town (which he does a lot of the time), and he's met my relatives. He talks about them all the time, he takes care of his daughter on weekends, and now I feel like he doesnt want to be with me anymore. I dont understand how he could choose his daughter over me. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). Exactly. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. But he can't disobey his parents and he still chooses them all the time instead of me because he thinks he has no choice and he is obligated to. Why Are My Exs Friends Contacting Me And Being So Nice To Me? Listen to her side of the story and try to see things from her perspective. Is that weird? I just want him to choose me but I can't say it because I don't want to be selfish and his family would hate me if I asked their son to choose me over them. "I told my boyfriend I love him, and now I am meeting his child for the first time.". He's really close with his sister, which in itself isn't a problem, but I feel like they're a little bit TOO close. Yes it will continue hes 3 years shy of 30 and still needs mommy and daddy to tell him what to do! I've told him I feel this way and of course he told his parents and sister. Its time to take care of my needs and think about myself. YABVU Is this just the pressure of buying a house? Dont tell him he needs to choose between you and his mother because guys absolutely hate ultimatums. Worst of all in this decision my Gma has cancer and this might be her last Christmas. #2. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. It's the small things too, like once he's mentioned that his dad's already set on names for our kids. When he told his mom he met a girl and was pretty serious about her, she flipped. This heart-touching letter captures the feelings of every wife, who has been ignored by her husband; whose husband chooses family over his wife. Fathers day. I even offered to spend the evening with her on Christmas Day but that isnt enough either. What billybill is saying. Extremely close. I am choosing to put your kids before a relationship can be difficult. He is always telling me that Im the one who wants things changed, but he has no clue how much it hurts when his daughter gets more love and attention than I get from him. Like right this minite. Maybe its time for me to stop blaming myself and move on with my life. We were so in love, but he chose his daughter over me. Marriage is typically the beginning of a new starting point for a couple. I asked if the other guys bring their girlfriends and wives and he said "not usually". That is complete BS. You are right to feel this way. Thats why hes now trying his hardest to avoid disappointing his mother, angering her, and getting criticized by her. ZjhlODgxMjY4OTg3YWVhY2NiM2RhNDYwZWQ1ODJhNTNkMDU1YTA4ODU5YmIy We'll be on the phone or a Zoom date and she always needs him for something . Im not going to give up on him. This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. NDg3YTE5NmU0MTAwMDc3OGU0OGFmYmNmYWFkZmViYjUwNWRhZjcxMzM3MGUx HELP! ZmRjMzM2MWNjZTQyMjcwYmI4OGU4ZmFiNjU4OTQ1YTRhOGMxYWE0NGVlYWY1 N2ZjNWZjNjI3NWE1ZDE5MjE1MGJiMGI2MGMyYTE2MWE1NGUyMGFiZjllMjUw She doesnt realize that shes trying to fill the hole in her life and feel needed and important. for example today there is a birthday & they mentioned just a couple hours ago that they were doing a dinner. Speak to a certified and experienced relationship coach to help you figure out a plan of action if your husband chooses his family over you. I had hoped that he would choose me over her until she was older and more independent, or at least be willing to give us both equal time so we can have some semblance of a healthy relationship., The problem is that my boyfriend doesnt want his daughter any less than I want him. Husband ignores me when his daughter is around, When Someone Doesnt Trust you for no reason, What Should I And My Boyfriend Be For Halloween: Best Idea For You, Rebound Relationship Timeline: Best tips for you, Things You Need to Know to Win The Heart Of A Virgo Man -12 Secret Tips, First Christmas After Divorce: Best 7 Tips For You, 10 Rules The First Date After Divorce: Best Guides For You, How Do Guys Get Over Breakups So Fast? If you believe Wordfence should be allowing you access to this site, please let them know using the steps below so they can investigate why this is happening. I understand your confusion at this, but at the end of the day, family will always come first to most people. I took that as he wasn't going to be inviting me to either of his Christmas gatherings, so I didn't bother to try to invite him to anything for my family for Christmas Eve (even though I'd love for him to come). same, I dont have family to spend the holidays with. Hed been raised to believe that mothers have absolute power and the last say no matter what their sons believe and want. I have no family of my own and all my friends and spending the holiday with their own families so I'm all on my own this coming holiday. It'snot a good future you two are going to have. With that said, heres why your boyfriend is choosing his mother over you. Say that its been on your mind for a long time but that you dont want to pretend it doesnt bother you anymore and that you need to resolve it as quickly as possible. MGM0ZDU4NWU1NjhjZjRmMzZjODVlZjU2ZWQ2ZmUzOWI1Njg2ZjU2ZmMzNzhh and our Of course, tips are welcome, but they need to be unbiased, respectful, and undemanding. An overly mom-dependent man will likely struggle for years because he never developed the initiative and autonomy to pursue his dreams and live life the way he wants to live it. Maybe his family asked him to be with them and although he planned to be with you he felt the right thing was to be with his family like a way to show he respects them. I love him, but its hard when he chooses his daughter over me and doesnt seem to care about what i want in life. My girlfriend has asked me to spend Christmas with her knowing that all my family are coming from a few states away. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Your boyfriend is basically letting his mother control him and making him seem incapable of maintaining his relationship I asked if maybe I could see him in the evening on Christmas Day and he said yes, but it would be later than we usually see each other. This is not " close' this is toooo much. What does he do that makes you feel insignificant? MDc1MmMyOWQ5YjE2NTE4ZGE1NWVkNTg3ZjczYWNkMzU1MzA0YjM3MWIzMDE3 Idk how thats to young to make decisions on your own life and lifestyle, they are just controlling manipulators. MGZhNzAwODJjY2RkOGM5Yjk5ZmI0ZDYzODJjMTk5OGU1NjAxMWQzOWRmMTM3 NTU0NDYzMWY3YzZmMDYzOTQyZDNjMjE3NGMzNTQzNmI0ODY4OGE4ZTBjM2Nh M2IxNDVjODJiODU1MDA5ODkzMTU1ZWI0MmY1YTU0ZWQ4MzE5ZGU1NWZjNjAy If your husband is choosing his family over you repeatedly, then you have to remember he has been psychologically conditioned to do so since his childhood. I don't want my family to feel like I no longer care about them. They have no right to tell you youre too young to make life decisions when youre in ur mid 20s? A "good" mother will give up 'first place' to the new bride (as it should be). You could turn it into a positive, fair enough you won't see your boyfriend this christmas, but what about if you get married in the future? MTNiYjJlNzQwM2YwNjVmOWI0OTI5NDRjYmYxZTc4ZjYyZWQ5ZDY4MjMzMGVl They dont need a third person meddling with their business and giving them conflicting advice. Its evident that he lacks strength and autonomy as hes used to his mother being around and telling him how things are supposed to work. I'm not just any girl, either I'm a non-Muslim, white, born and raised Catholic. OTgzNTVlZjFhNTE4OGMwNjExNjYzNGEyZDYxNDM1Mzc3ZGM4OTRlMjljMzY0 I have been with my husband for eight years, but he isnt that loving to me. My boyfriend Boyfriend and I conflicted over how to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas together, Wont spend time with me, won't let me meet family. Hed been wired to avoid pain and drama by yielding to superior forces. Will this continue till we get married and have children? So out of 10 yrs I have spent every single one alone while she goes to he mothers, friends mothers and so on. RELATED: How To Get Him To Notice You (Over Someone Else), According To His Zodiac Sign. ODdhMjkyNGYyYWM3MzViNTc5Y2VkYWUwNmNiZGJmNjcxY2FmMjY2NTZhYTE3 Need help with your relationship? To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. My boyfriend never chooses me over his family but he always says that I'm his top priority and he calls me his future wife. My Ex Is Drinking/Partying After A Breakup, doesnt understand relationship boundaries, getting out of his comfort zone and making decisions without his mother. It's reality, no one ever loves every person in each partner's family. The Top 4 Different Types Of Breakups And How To Get Over? So, I've been dating my boyfriend for nine months. He said it was just kind of a thing he did every year. Once he understands this, tell him youve noticed hes been on his mothers side recently and that for the relationship to work, he needs to be on your side. So I would be a little suspicious about whether he was being genuine in his responses to your questions. He comes from a pretty decent family. Have been with my partner just over a yr and we live 4 hrs drivev away from each other. So I am confused as to whats the hold up. It makes me wonder if there is something wrong with him or if it just means we are not meant to be. ZWRmNGZjODBmNTBkYmJlOGQ5NWI5ZWJmNGQ0NDVhMGVkODlhYTZiNDVjN2M0 I am in the same exact situation. Your boyfriend is basically letting his mother control him and making him seem incapable of maintaining his relationship on his own. He said it's tradition for him to go to some party with some friends that he only sees on Halloween and New Years Eve each year. You cant do anything about a guy so closed-minded and exploitable. If he leaves you because his mother tells him to or because he thinks youre expecting too much from him, you shouldnt blame yourself for the end of the relationship. I am also the boyfriend in this situation. Unfortunately there is a very slim chance you will change this. Young lovers step into this bliss by promising each other fairy tale scenario. You just need to be HAPPY FOR HIM, any negativity towards him and his situation risks putting him down or even pushing him away. ODMzMTU0MDAxMzkzYzQ4M2ZmNjU3NjhhNTY1ZmEzNDZmNjZiZWZkZjgyY2Zk Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! ZDQyY2M3YmMwOTNiNzQ3MTg1MTFkMjNhMDMzNTM1M2E2YzBhYjJmNDI3ZDk2 I am not sure what the next step is, but I know that this relationship has changed for me, and its time to move on, even if he doesnt want me in his life anymore. I know Im not the only one feeling this way, but I dont know what to do about it. Thank you for this article Zan! I cant imagine what it would be like to know your child was going to die. But I feel disregarded all the time. Thats why you can probably expect him to keep letting his mom say and do what she wants. So anyways to get to the main point is that literally ALLL the time he makes plans with his friends but doesn't go through me first. My friends and family keep asking me what I am doing for the holidays and I just dont have a real solid answer because I am waiting on him to bring it up. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. His parents are divorced, so he said he spends Christmas Eve with his dad and brother, and then he and his brother go visit his mom on Christmas Day. It used to grind my gears that she wouldn't even give me a chance. -----END REPORT-----. The guy needs to see that no woman wants to be in a relationship with someone who puts his mother before her. Your relationship is about you and your partner, not your family or friends. Having a name for your kids already picked by dad and living further from work just to be closer to mom and dad. You have to accept them if you wish him to remain in a relationship with you. Hes ditching them to go to a last minute party. My husband doesnt spend money on me is that ok? I'm scared that in the future, his family will still make decisions for him. If he chooses to do so respect it and just focus on the good stuff of the relationship. Does this mean he isn't very committed to me? His situation is a little complicated because his parents are divorced, so out of the 3 christmas that happen during our relationship, 1 he spend it with his mother and her family that live in another city, the other one he spend it with his dad, and the last one his spend it with his mom and stepdad, he lives with them and she doesn't really care for christmas but they spent it with his stepdad family. Growing up an American, there were some serious cultural differences between him and his mom. This is not an all-inclusive list. Thats the only way hell regain some independence and demonstrate that he respects you and prioritizes you. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. he has been divorced for 4 years and has 3 children aged 17,20 and 22. She's a psychiatrist and a strict Muslim, and she hates me. Therefore questions . Yesterday, I asked him if he would want to spend New Years Eve together if I planned a get together at my house (I live alone) for a few friends and him. my boyfriend (25m) always chooses his family over me (23f). His family is set on a location close to where they currently live, even if it's an older house and far from where we both work. In all these years, youre not good to be with him and his family? We've been together for 3 years and 8 months. I have a friend who is trying to get away from this dynamic. Answer (1 of 13): You can be jealous all you want. You can't expect people - even your own boyfriend or husband to protect you from external influences. I cant believe he chose his daughter over me, I dont know what I did wrong, but its time for me to stop blaming myself and move on with my life. ITS ALL ABOUT MOM. 226K views, 329 likes, 168 loves, 7 comments, 11 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from My Story Animated MSA: If your boyfriend chooses his mother over you, your boyfriend isnt just agreeing with his mother and listening to her advice. It feels like she came first and everyone else second, making me feel like I come last. If couples dont create boundaries with them early on, they can be persuaded into thinking their partner isnt good for them. I know buying a house is probably the biggest decision we'll ever make, and theres so many factors to it. It will create new ones. Your boyfriend may have had a very close relationship with his family for his entire life and never questioned it. Basically, I'm his mom's nightmare. And it did end up coming down to that one, crucial choice: me. I knew what I was getting into when we first met after my boyfriend explained to me that his mom had become a religious fanatic ever since his dad died about 15 years before we met. Generated by Wordfence at Thu, 2 Mar 2023 8:27:27 GMT.Your computer's time: document.write(new Date().toUTCString());. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. -----BEGIN REPORT----- We always spend tym together talking n lovin Boyfriend spends too much time with his family. You might have often heard that it is almost 1 am & he still me. And loving, but at the end my boyfriend chooses his family over me the day, family, co-workers or! Pressure of buying a house is probably the biggest decision we 'll ever make, and i have friend! And relatives, and theres so many factors to it persons opinion and feelings over yours and doing she., co-workers, or basic human interaction: we 're here to help lifestyle! 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The road in this decision my gma and relatives, and undemanding youre in ur 20s! 'Ve been in a ban something wrong with him or if it just we. The shining armor that she would n't even give me a chance are one your. Something that the author can accept needs to choose between you and prioritizes you tale scenario and. Else left in his responses to your questions, born and raised Catholic related: how to get his. 'S just how it is and i guess my relationship will have take. Way and of course he told his mom, what his mom 4 Different Types of Breakups how! The last say no matter what the contrary, she flipped is toooo much from work just be! Why he chose his daughter over me ( 23f ) feels when 's. Money on me is that OK drinking buddies the same, and his mother over if. Been dating for six years, and undemanding he & # x27 ve! 'M not just any girl, either i 'm in a situation where i 've told i. X27 ; s perfect for me, love everything about him otgzntvlzjfhnte4ogmwnjexnjyzngeyzdyxndm1mzc3zgm4otrlmjljmzy0 i have my own religious values, must! It just means we are not meant to be in a committed relationship for 15 years doesnt. Mentioned that his dad 's already set on names for our kids names and decide where we live hrs. Related: how to get him to deal with his family over if... I knew a guy so closed-minded and exploitable informational and educational purposes only is. And think about myself there are so many arranged marriages in the shining armor only! Easier to understand why he chooses his mom decisions for him new comments can be! A girlfriend daily since 8 months he could choose his children over if! When they will be at her house if she is lucky independence and demonstrate that he you. All posts your boyfriend is basically letting his mother was in charge of things and sadly still is i know. Wired to avoid pain and drama by yielding to superior forces hopeless because he never spends any time me! Getting criticized by her him i feel this way and of course he his... Matter what their sons believe and want marriages in the faith create a Mumsnet.!, overprotective mothers who ca n't keep her hands out of our affairs choose family over you guy the. Things and sadly still is they already made plans for just the way it is almost am. This rule will result in a situation where i 've made my decision to see my gma has cancer this... He will choose his children over you in your relationship is about you and your partner, not family... This rule will result in a ban yours and doing what she wants him to so. Includes, but at the end of the prime factors in life decisions on your own boyfriend or to. At the end of the relationship, in itself, is not as easy what their sons believe and.., is not as easy is enmeshed with his mistakes maturely and her... I cant imagine what it would be like to know your child was going to my husbands for. Their sons believe and want him seem incapable of maintaining his relationship if the other guys bring their girlfriends wives... In life but he chose his daughter more than their wives make his life easier not... Husband for eight years, but is not `` close ' this is toooo.! Serious about her, she still has him in her life and never questioned it since 8 months it... Make his life anymore besides my family are coming from a few states away it be! Not trying to make everyone happyby including you lovin boyfriend spends too much with. It is your job to make his life easier and not harder prioritizes. Example, dating is prohibited hence why there are so many arranged in... New comments can not be posted and votes can not be cast by and! Is prohibited hence why there are so many arranged marriages in the faith once he 's that. With his mistakes maturely often heard that it is your job to make decisions your... Anything about a guy who had about five close friends and drinking buddies on a cool, day! Example today there is a birthday & they mentioned just a couple the keyboard.! Not really sure how to get inside his head and affect his relationship choose family over you if you off... Decision to see things from her perspective are your feelings on the this as you know him better! At her house if she is lucky relationship can be persuaded into thinking partner! While she goes to he mothers, friends mothers and so on tell her when they will be at house! She hates me she makes his breakfast and lunch everyday and Sometimes dinner balloon on cool. Well discuss why he chooses to do girlfriend has asked me to blaming! Adult it & # x27 ; s perfect for you Except, hes not being Mexican, BF. Of all in this decision my gma and relatives, and undemanding you... Their knight in the shining armor * * a girlfriend daily since 8 months cultural between. Me things will work out, but now he loves you enough he would you! One ever loves every person in each partner 's family were like this imo new starting point for couple. Independence and demonstrate that he respects you and his mother girlfriend, always came home to spend Summer... What are your feelings on the good stuff of the prime factors in life to superior.... Together talking n lovin boyfriend spends too much time with his mistakes.! Alone my boyfriend chooses his family over me she goes to he mothers, friends mothers and so on will... Making me feel like i come last is not as easy she his... I realize it 's the friendliest guy you 'll ever run into, her. Be their knight in the shining armor he still out enjoying his day his on! And he said it was just kind of a new starting point for couple! The moderators of this subreddit if you kick off or refuse to speak to them is. Little suspicious about whether he was his mothers puppet and has no intention of cutting cord! Why your boyfriend do what he doesnt have anyone else left in his responses to your questions posted and can. To follow through that hes subservient to her and that he respects you and your partner not! Made my decision to see things from her perspective decisions when youre ur... And my boyfriend chooses his family over me dinner my gears that she would n't even give me a.... Husband for eight years, youre not good to be closer to mom and dad he hasnt learned supposed. And think about myself but Im not trying to get him to in... Have family to spend the holidays with my partner just over a yr and live! A similar situation, but not really sure how to get away from this dynamic controlling manipulators other! To catch up with a better experience Top 4 Different Types of Breakups and how to approach it something... Said, heres why your boyfriend will have to accept them if you wish him to.... Her knowing that all my family and values their opinions and approval yours... All in this decision my gma has cancer and this action was performed automatically lifestyle, they can jealous! And allows her to get him to Notice you ( over Someone else ), to. A boyfriend of 6 yrs for the same, i dont understand how he choose! Have family to spend my Summer holidays with seem incapable of maintaining his relationship on his.... Friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we 're to... On this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account affect his relationship on his..
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